So I have come to the conclusion that I actually have three children even though I've only birthed two. The other one is just a heck of a lot bigger, stinkier, and messier. Oh the messes.. You see our couch is a tan microfiber that has often been used as a nap station, a kid’s sick bay, and had it’s fair share of juice and spit up so it already has some stains. But the other day I watched my husband literally sit down with a full bowl of cereal and spill half of it on the couch cushion. I swear I thought about being a widow long and hard for a few minutes as I stared at that basketball sized stain. That was my final straw. It was time to make my first real post on my first ever pin from Pinterest. How to clean your microfiber couch.
Keep reading for my attempt and to see the results.
Here is what my beloved couch looks like pre-clean.





This is the arm of my couch. More stains of cereal, no doubt.
Unfortunately I did not get a picture of the stain that incited my rage, because the first thing I did after ordering my husband to go to work before he spilled anything else, was to rip all the cushion covers off so it didn’t soak into the padding. I threw the covers into the washer, because I was told that it’s safe to do. When you pull them out of the washer, however, do not be alarmed when you see them look like this:



I know I was. But just dry them like normal, I did both the washer and dryer cycles under gentle or permanent press. When they dried they looked beautiful and tan instead of muddy chocolate. My husband was officially off the hook. Now for the step that I was holding my breath for; those set in arm stains.


According to the blog post, you need a spray bottle and regular rubbing alcohol. I can tell you from first hand experience, make sure your spray bottle has the “spray” function. Just trust me. If you do happen to make the same mistake, keep reading and I’ll try to help you out a little. Also have a sponge with an abrasive side (the yellow and green kind worked just fine for me, but if you are worried about color transference find some that have a white abrasive side) and a soft bristle scrubbing brush that does not have colored bristles. Ready? Go.


Spray the alcohol on to the area and be sure to saturate it. If you are cheap like me, you will get a cheap spray bottle that only has the “stream” function and you will just make lines of rubbing alcohol on the couch that looks like a newborn peed on it. You need overall coverage to make this work properly. Once saturated and looking about how the cushions looked post washer machine, take your sponge on the abrasive side and scrub-a-dub. Then let it sit. Just, let it sit. I know you are going to try and argue with me. Just go to bed and don't think about it. Let it dry completely and in the morning when you look at it and it’s blotchy and dark, refrain from trying to kill me. That’s where the second part comes in; the most important part. Take your soft bristle brush and in circular motions, brush out the arm/base/back of the couch. This smooths the fibers and “fluffs” up the fabric. Now it looks better doesn't it? I told you. When I used my stupid sprayer the first time, it left the little “baby pee” marks even when it dried. It was faint, but still pissed me off. So I redid it. The stains from the botched run came right back out. So if you didn’t listen to me at all and got a 2 cent bottle, spray the alcohol onto the soft side of the sponge and then apply it to the couch to get a more even coverage. Then flip to the abrasive side and scrub the crap out of it. Now you should be back on track. Listen next time, will ya? Here is the result!



Stains be gone!

Results! The second picture didn't do it justice, but most of what you see is just where I had fluffed it. It didn’t get every single stain that ever came across my couch out, but the eyesores are definitely gone. And as long as when company comes over they don’t feel the need to sit on the very edge of the couch hoping whatever that suspicious spot is doesn’t touch their clothing, that’s good enough for me! So in closing, this works really well for moderate stainage! I can’t speak for different color microfiber, or even different types of microfiber, so please test in an inconspicuous area first. And if you are worried, go to the original blog where she has updated/answered some of those questions. With two babies and a big ogre child, I plan on cleaning up the couch once a month in order to cut down on the mysterious globs and blobs that show up. Thank the heavens because I’m not ready to part with this couch quite yet. Soon, but not too soon. Until next time guys!